Politeness and forms of address: siz, Bey, Hanım, abla
Turkish has finely graded politeness: siz instead of sen, forms of address like Ahmet Bey and Ayşe Hanım, friendly ones like abi and abla, and polite requests with -ir misiniz? and rica etsem.
| Situation | Expression | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| addressing a man / woman | first name + Bey / Hanım | Ahmet Bey, Ayşe Hanım (Mr Ahmet, Ms Ayşe) |
| friendly, also to strangers | abi / abla, amca / teyze | big brother / sister, uncle / aunt |
| request | -ir misiniz? / -ebilir misiniz? | Kapıyı açar mısınız? |
| very polite | rica etsem, zahmet olmazsa | if I may ask, if it's no trouble |
| asking again, phone | Efendim? | Pardon? / Hello, yes? |
| thanks | Teşekkür ederim / Sağ olun | thank you (formal) |
What should you watch out for?
- Bey and Hanım come after the name, usually the first name: *Mehmet Bey*; with the surname (*Yılmaz Bey*) it is more formal.
- abi, abla, amca, teyze are also used for strangers: a waiter, a shop assistant, an older neighbour.
- Polite requests use the aorist or -ebilir: *Yardım edebilir misiniz?*
Examples
- Ahmet Bey, bir dakikanız var mı?Mr Ahmet, have you got a minute?
- Abla, bir çay alabilir miyim?Excuse me, could I have a tea? (to a waitress)
- Pencereyi açar mısınız?Would you open the window, please?
- Rica etsem, bana yardım eder misiniz?Could I ask you to help me?
- Efendim? Anlamadım.Pardon? I didn't understand.
Common mistakes
- ✗ Hanım Ayşe, buyurun.✓ Ayşe Hanım, buyurun.English “Ms Ayşe” puts the title first; Bey and Hanım come after the name.
- ✗ Hocam, sen yarın derste misin?✓ Hocam, siz yarın derste misiniz?English has one “you”; a teacher or boss is addressed with siz: siz … misiniz.
- ✗ Siz nerelisin?✓ Siz nerelisiniz?Polite siz needs the plural ending -siniz, even for one person.
- ✗ Ne dedin? (to a customer)✓ Efendim? (to a customer)English “What?” is fine with friends, but Ne dedin? sounds blunt; politely you ask Efendim?
- ✗ Abla, hesap lütfen. (to a male waiter)✓ Abi, hesap lütfen. (to a male waiter)Abla is for a woman; a young man is addressed as abi.